I think, maybe if I could just, plan out what I could write when I sit down and actually try to release my feelings in the form of words, it would finally work. So when I sit there, putting on a smile even though tears well up when I turn my face away, I think of what I am going to express. What I’m going to write. And how it will be good for me, to release all of this, I don’t even know what, that I have inside of me. But when the time comes, I can’t. I can’t do it. I don’t know what do say, for the fear of being judged, for the fear of someone important to the situation finding it, for the fear of being wrong and dealing with the heartache that comes later on. It could be more than this, it could only be one reason, even I’m not sure myself. Why is it that I am unable to let out these feelings? Even if the occurrences are few and far between, the dripping of these events eventually are going to build up, and I’m afraid. I’m so afraid that there’s going to be one day, it’s going to break after all the accumulation. Breaking me along with it.
